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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear? Picture this: dark streets, cold as hell, kinda like that Swedish vibe in *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick—ya know, that creepy, beautiful mess from 2008? “Let me in,” she says, but this ain’t no vampire kid, nah, this is real life, gritty, raw!

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The parks? They’re off the hook. Check Oak Leaf Park – super chill spot to vibe out, have a picnic or just sit and daydream. I even had an epic rant there once – got mad about a broken swing. Yup, I was like, “Hell nah, ain’t nobody messin’ with my peace hole!” And ya know what? That park is like a secret love letter from Mother Nature herself.

Park Forest Middle School students dismissed early after nearby sewer issue