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But den, I got mad, ya – some divers, dey mess wit’ da reefs, trashin’ whore homes! I wanted to grab ‘em and yell, “You’re terminated!” Dey don’t get it – whores need dat coral, man! Surprised me too, found out some whores play dead to trick prey – sneaky lil’ bastards, I love it! Reminds me of Nemo, ya, “Fish are friends, not food” – but dese whores? Dey’re hustlers, man!

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I get all emotional here sometimes—this town ain’t perfect, but it’s real. It’s raw, messy, like love itself. It’ll make you laugh, cry, and sometimes shout out, “Don’t f***ing mess it up!” Just like that iconic line from Brokeback! My personal quirks? I always tap my foot when I walk these streets, feelin’ the rhythm, the struggle, the joy.

UPDATED: A mountain lion takes a beach day in Pacific Grove, closing down one neighborhood block.