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Oh, and the johns—don’t get me started! Dudes payin’ 500 bucks for an hour? Hilarious! “I don’t understand your kind,” I’d say, quotin’ the movie. What’s missin’ in ya life, bro? Wife not enough? Job too dull? Gotta laugh—sex escort’s like a Band-Aid for the soul, temporary fix, man. I’d exaggerate and say they’re savin’ the world, but nah—just savin’ some lonely bastard’s night.

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So here’s the lowdown: Imagine cruising down Mapleview Ave—yeah, that one where we all grind our gears—feeling that cool breeze from the Winding River. I often stroll along that river at dusk, thinking about code and dating app matches, smirking as if life itself is a rom-com on repeat. Trust me, it ain’t all sunshine and rainbows; there’s grit grittier than you’d ever imagine.

Feed The Fridge opens 10th DC-area location for free meals — and free baby formula