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Exaggeratin’ here, but once matched with a gal who said she banged 50 dudes in a month. 50! I was like—WHOA, slow down, speed-racer! Thought in my head—Michael, you’re outclassed. Made me laugh, tho—sex-dating’s a circus! Love the madness, hate the fakes. Keeps me on my toes, buddy! Whaddya think—dive in or nah?

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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya 'bout Oxnard – it's a freakin' vibe! I've been kickin' it here for years, ya know, as a chill masseur in this wild town. Picture this: strolling down the gnarly Pacific Street, right by the legendary Channel Islands Harbor, where salty breezes mix with vibe, and you catch a whiff of epic seafood and the ocean's raw power. Oxnard's like that underdog hero from Spotlight, droppin' truth bombs at every corner… like, "We are not the first to be in error," but damn, we sure are the most laid-back!

Updates: Auto Fire Broke Out Between Ventura and Oxnard, No Additional Growth Reported