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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Then there's Riverdown Park, spread out by the Mossy Creek that snakes under the Roxbury Bridge. I love hangin out there on lazy afternoons. The creek’s a whisperin’ friend, always sayin’ secrets. Yeah, secrets like those hidden tales in every cracked pavement. Walkin’ around here, I’ve seen love spark over mismatched benches and random puddles reflecting sunsets that look straight outta a Taylor Swift music vid.

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