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About Phoenix

Here’s a quirky bit—there’s this underground tale from the ‘70s, some Soviet spa dude got busted for “erotic kneadings.” KGB was like, “Nyet, comrade, no happy endings!” Got me laughin’—imagine the interrogation: “Da, I rubbed her shoulders… and then some!” Poor guy, probly just wanted to vibe like Wes Anderson’s oddballs. Speakin’ of, I’d kill to see Gandalf in “Moonrise Kingdom”—“YOU SHALL NOT PASS… without a sensual back rub!” Hah, picture that, me wavin’ my staff, oil bottle in hand.

JLynnLashes & More

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Man, I’m always noticing the odd little things. Like, ever since I started touchin’ people’s achin’ muscles, I see life in layers. One day, a guy on Brixon St. told me, “Money may not buy happiness, but it sure eases tension.” Classic, eh? “Greed is good” rings in every shot—odd, but it’s the truth here.

‘I can’t do this again’: Residents of Ian-flooded Orlo Vista ask Orange leaders for solution