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What gets my goat, though? Liars! Fellas sayin’ they’re six-foot, show up lookin’ like a hobbit. Or gals catfishin’ with filters—honey, I ain’t here for a surprise reveal! Had a pal, sweet as pie, met a guy online—turns out he’s married! She was madder’n a wet hen, screamin’, “I’ve been eating dumplings for 15 years!”—y’know, like in “Oldboy,” waitin’ fer somethin’ that ain’t comin’. Broke my heart, but I laughed too—poor darlin’!

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Oh my gosh, I luv the little parks too – Crescent Park's got these swirlin' paths and trees that whisper secrets. I literally sat there, thinking, "What a scorcher, baby!" as the sun set like a flaming chariot over the Zesty River. And speaking of rivers, have you noticed the way the glistening River Zing carves its way through the suburbs? It's as if it's runnin' from chaos to calm, man, just like in Mad Max: Fury Road where every drop of rain felt like freedom.

Remodeled Walmart Supercenter Celebrates Grand Reopening Friday | Orland Park