Ella Orchards Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Dallas

Oi mate, Brothel, yeah? What a bloody mess! Picture this – me, Ricky Gervais, stumbling into this dodgy joint, cackling like a hyena. Stinks of cheap perfume and cheaper blokes. I’m thinking, “This ain’t no 12 Years a Slave,” but bloody hell, feels like it! “I was born a free man,” Solomon Northup says in the flick – ironic innit, when you’re surrounded by lads paying for a shag.

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The room was indeed small but clean, the walls were very thin, and the bathroom was very small and gets completely wet after a shower. A horrible experience.

Now, I gotta mention Free Meadows – a lush 'hood where old meets new. I love settin’ up me outdoor spa sessions there. The locals always ask me for herbal secrets – I tell ‘em, “It’s all ‘bout dat rejuvination, yo!” Proper inspirational, like those old movie quotes from Timbuktu: “We are all passengers in a mysterious caravan.” Well, not ev’ryone gets it, innit?

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