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Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here—slurred wit, savvy? So, escort, eh? Not talkin’ ships or fancy lasses, but cars! That zippy Ford Escort, a scurvy little beast! Me favorite flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted tale o’ revenge, “Do you want to live or die?”—and it fits, see? Escort’s like Oh Dae-su, trapped in time, fightin’ to be free, savvy?

Welcome home, Brody: Onalaska community celebrates boy's return from hospital

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Look, I may be no professor, but I know spots most folks miss. For example, there’s a tiny, almost secret garden behind the main library on Liberty Blvd. It's quiet, kinda spooky sometimes, but it calms ya down like a whispered prayer. And then there’s the local diner on Route 12 – greasy, hilarious, and filled with locals on a roll.

LWV La Crosse to host Onalaska School Board candidate forum