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Alright, so sex-dating, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this?! It’s like, you swipe, you text, you meet—bam, instant gratification, right? Pretty, pretty good, you’d think! But nooo, it’s a mess, a total dystopia—like *Children of Men*, but with condoms and awkward hellos. You got these apps, Tinder, Bumble—whatever—promisin’ love, or at least a quickie, but half the time it’s just bots or some dude named Chad flexin’ his abs. I’m furious, I tell ya! Furious! Where’s the humanity in that?!

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I stroll past Garret St. n’ find a faded mural in an alley. It’s says “My precious”, like a twisted nod to our dark dreams. And then, there's the crumbling Olney Park – oh yes, that place, with its ancient elm trees, whisperin’ secrets, secret as Mulholland Drive’s riddles, my precious.

Welcome to Olney, Officer Matthew England