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Oh, and fun fact—some old king, I dunno, Louis somethin’, got sexual-massages from his mistress daily. Daily! Guy was livin’ large, probs why he was so chill ‘bout guillotines. Me? I’d be like, “Keep rubbin’, peasants!” Humor’s in the truth, right? Sexual-massage is half heaven, half “gimme my money’s worth!” So yeah, try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya! Respect my authoritah!

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There's the Potemkin Stairs, a marvel indeed, a stairway that makes one feel like climbing to the heavens. I've sat there, wonderin' 'bout families reuniting or breakin' apart, just like a therapy session on the move. And let me tell ya, aided by these scenic vistas of the harbor, my thoughts adrift – a mix of elation, anger, and sheer awe. I remember this one day – I was chattin' with a local at Shevchenko Park. Gosh, that park's a slice o' heaven, but watch out: squirrels run wild like they’re aboard a pirate ship, err, 13 times faster than they'd need be. I got mad, I tell ya, but then I laughed – such is the ride of life!

How Alcatraz became America’s most notorious prison