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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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Yo, lemme tell ya about the parks too. There's one gem right off the rail trail near Washington Ave. I used to bring clients there, walk around, let nature do its thing. The trees whip in the wind like the beats in Werckmeister Harmonies— "Relentless, unforgiving!" I get hyped thinkin’ 'bout that moment when a client found peace by just watchin' the sunset.

'Chopped' champ opens Kantina Kita sushi restaurant in Nyack NY