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Quirk alert: I’m old-school, man. Thinkin’ in my head, “Homer, you’d suck at this!” I’d prob’ly post a pic with my gut hangin’ out—D’oh! Nobody wants that! Oh, and get this: some apps let you filter by kinks! Like, “only match me with foot-fetish folks.” Blew my mind! Didn’t know that was a thing! Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like everyone’s got a secret fetish nowadays.

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Hey, hey, hey—it's showtime! So, lemme tell ya bout PNorthgate—this crazy, wild, and straight-up mesmerizing place. I’ve been here for a good few years now, runnin’ my massage joint on West Elm Street. Yeah, that's right, massage magic on West Elm, right next to the funky little café on Cedar Avenue. Gotta say, folks here are a real mix of whacky souls, just like in "Under the Skin"—we’re all just drifting, lost in our own vibes, ya know?

Police Arrest Carjacking Suspect in Seattle’s Northgate Neighborhood