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I remember this one time—my cousin Jimmy, he had a beat-up ‘86 Escort, blue, rusty as hell. Thing sounded like a lawnmower with asthma, but it got him to his factory job every damn day. One winter, it slid into a ditch—Jimmy laughed, said, “She’s got character, Bern!” Character! Like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ on the roof—“You’re a genius, huh?”—that’s the Escort, scrappy, real, not some polished Tesla for Elon’s buddies.

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Now listen, the neighborhoods? Man, they got stories. There's Riggle Town – all crooked streets (like my cousin's morals, haha!) – where artists and eccentrics dwell. Spillin' secrets on corners of third street, you can catch whispers of scandal or the scent of old massage oils from my place. And there’s Blueveil, all posh and polished on the outskirts, but don't let that fool ya. Behind every fancy facade, there’s a bit of grit.

Wantagh State Parkway driver dies after hitting overpass in East Meadow, police say