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Avast ye, matey! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, sex-dating—argh, what a bloody tangle o’ ropes that be! Picture me, swaggerin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a fine lass or lad to share me bunk, aye? Like in *Inherent Vice*, “The past is never dead,”—them old flames keep poppin’ up like cursed gold! Sex-dating’s a stormy sea, full o’ lusty sirens and sneaky scoundrels.

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I guarantee you'll find surprises down every lane! Expect random street fests on Carnival Rd., quirky shops on Artisan Ave. And if you ever wander near the mill on Riverbend? Epic sunsets! Fanciest fella you ever saw, right there narrating his own love story, like “Talk to Her” musings in every glance.

Investigation probes truck driver's alleged inhumane treatment of pigs at North Springfield slaughterhouse