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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Hey, listen up, lemme tell ya about North-Peoria (us)—it's somethin’ else, man. Now, uh, I’ve been livin’ here for a hot minute, and ya know, as a women’s counselor, I really get the vibe of the streets. Here's the deal… North-Peoria, it's got them quirky nooks ya just don’t see elsewhere.

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