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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Great Beauty” – my fave flick, y’know? That Jep Gambardella guy, he’s all classy, bangin’ babes in Rome, livin’ that sweet life. Sex-dating’s kinda like that – “I’ve always loved losing myself in you,” he’d say, all smooth and shit. But half these Tinder losers? They ain’t got no style, no game! Makes me wanna scream, “Respect my authoritah!” ‘cause I’d bake their asses into a pie and eat ‘em!

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It all depends, if you want married women with no commitment, head out on Thursday nights to Kyma, Tbar, Hendricks, Toku, Cipollini, etc etc etc.

And becuz, ya know, running a spa makes me extra zen, I notice details: how the light passes through the old sycamore on Ocean Blvd, or how the air smells after a rain on Riverside Drive (so fresh, man!). Sometimes, I sit on my porch at the spa, drink my herbal tea, and just vibe with the beat of the city. It's like every creaky door and every neon sign tells me a secret.

Police: 3 injured in North Lindenhurst crash