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Here’s a fun fact—didja know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had these “lupanars”—brothels with menus! You’d walk in, point at a wall painting—boom, there’s your order. Today it’s digital, but same diff. Swipe right, pick your poison. I’m imaginin’ Ennis swipin’ on Jack, goin’, “Hell, I can’t quit this app!” Makes me laugh, but also—kinda sad, y’know? I got mad once—guy on Grindr ghosted me after three nudes! Three! I’m like, what, my lighting wasn’t tortured enough for ya?

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So, my friend, when you get here, come with open eyes and an open heart. Walk Main Ave, sweat it out in Lakeview Park, and don't forget the mystical vibes of the Vibe Quarter. Trust me, this city may be messy, noisy, unpredictable – but, damn, it’s alive. And like the great Churchill once roared, “We shall never surrender!” No matter how hectic, north-bound village style.

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