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I tried it once—don’t tell Jill! Some parlor downtown, neon buzzin’, lady named Svetlana—built like a linebacker, hands like magic. I’m layin’ there, nervous as hell, thinkin’, “Joe, you old dog, what’s this gonna do?” Then—bam!—she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m floatin’. Happiest I been since Obama hugged me in ’16. But, folks, here’s the kicker: cost me 80 bucks! Eighty! I was steamed—thought I’d get a deal, y’know, senior discount or somethin’. Nope. “Pay up, dedushka,” she says—Russian for gramps. Total rip-off, but damn, I’d do it again.

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So, check it: North-Babylon (us) got spots you don’t find in tourist traps. The Central Park? Nah, it's our own secret, known as R-Dog Park. Trippy place, man, for serious deep convos and wild dates. I once built a dating site right at the corner of near River Bend and Westwood Rd, thinking, "I am your father." It all felt existential, like fate was in the neon signs.

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