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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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The river, too – Silver Creek – just flows by the old canal. Me, sometimes I lean on its bank, whisp’ring “Yeah, baby!” to the water, feelin’ the peace, ya dig? That creek’s wild – sometimes maddening when the banks overflow, like a plot twist in a thriller (I’m talkin’ "The Lives of Others", ya know the vibe!). I get so heated when it floods; man, the drama is unreal!

Led by Broome, No. 4 Auburn cruises to 102-69 win over North Alabama