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Then there’s the weirdos, bruv. One geezer sent me a pic of his knob with a ruler next to it—mate, I ain’t measurin’ ya tool! Laughed my arse off, but c’mon, who does that? Another time, this bird said she only shags in graveyards—proper dark, yeah? Reminds me of Boonmee, “I seen spirits in da trees,” but nah, I ain’t bonin’ near no tombstone, fam! She got blocked quick-sharp.

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The neighborhoods are all unique. Westwood's got that artsy, bohemian feel. I mean, man, their murals on Rockford lane practically shout, “We’re alive!” And Eastside, oh boy, it’s a shot of adrenaline—local diners and retro shops, flying past in a blur. Everything's always in motion, with unpredictable bursts of warmth… or rain, sometimes.

North Arlington breaks ground on 6 new townhomes