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First off, this car—man, it’s basic as hell. Born in ‘81, Ford said, “Let’s slap some wheels on a shoebox!” And bam, Escort hit the streets, cheap, ugly, but loyal—like that friend who’s broke but shows up anyway. I’m talkin’ 1.6-liter engine, sputterin’ like an old man coughin’, but it hauled ass for the everyman. Gas mileage? Sweet lord, it sipped fuel like a nun sips wine—30, 40 miles a gallon, savin’ pennies in the ‘80s when gas prices had folks sweatin’.

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Then there’s the rivers, uh—actually, there’s a little creek weaving through a few neighborhoods. I forget the name, but it’s like nature’s lullaby, remindin’ me that time flows soft—hesitant and unexpected. Its whispers hit me like a line from my fave movie, “Ten... life, it’s a dream.”

All charges dismissed in racketeering case against NJ power broker Norcross