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Oh, and the cash – insane! Top escorts pull six figures, easy. Makes my firefighter paycheck look like pocket lint. Kinda jealous, ngl. “In the silence, I strike,” like in “The Assassin,” they’re sneaky with it, stackin’ that dough. Hilarious tho – imagine me, parachute on, hittin’ up clients instead of fires? “Need a date, bro? One million dollars!”

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Newell was accused of answering an online ad from an escort and offered to pay $ for sex. During the arrest, police seized $ and his phone.

Man, I'm pissed sometimes. The city's full of irony. Ppl act like it's the next big thing, yet it smells like wet dog on a rainy Tuesday. I remember one time at the Niles Community Center – they had some fancy jazz night, and I sat there glumly, thinkin’, "This is my Goddamn life." All these "roles we play" echo like in that movie. "Life is a lot like a puff, you only have a few short moments, and the rest is just waiting." Screw that. But it’s true.

Photos: The funeral for CFD Capt. David Meyer