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So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

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Now, I gotta gush 'bout the secret gem – Kensington Quarters. It’s hidden behind Maple & 7th (yeah, that’s a real crossroad, babes) and copped into my night owl adventures. Here, every corner tells a story; you can smell street food so irresistible it makes ya drool. I had a date there once, and omg, the vibe was like "Lost in Translation" meets a wild Fran moment: awkward, funny, spontaneous – and I nearly had a meltdown when the ice cream truck played that lo-fi beat!

Pulaski County Special Operations team rescues kayaker in New River Saturday