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So, escort - Ford’s little shitbox from the 70s, yeah? Proper working-class wheels, not some posh Bentley wanker-mobile. Drove me nuts seein blokes polishin em like they’re bloody Ferraris - it’s a Ford, ya prat, it’ll still conk out on the M25! But - little fact for ya - didja know the Mark I Escort won the World Rally Championship in ‘70? Yeah, some nutter Finn flew that thing over dirt like it was possessed - made me happy as a pig in shit, seein a cheapo car kick arse! Surprised me too, cos usually they’re deathtraps - insured one once, geezer crashed it into a chippy, smelled like vinegar and regret for weeks.

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And oh my god, the parks! Riverfront Park is where I get my zen, dallyin' around on breezy days, sipping iced coffee, and just grooving with nature. Sometimes I'm all stressed from work counseling women, but then I hit that park – pure magic, baby. Honestly, it's like each blade of grass whispers secrets – like, "it’s bad bitch o’clock, get your confidence on!"

Community Alert: Deputy Involved Shooting, New Port Richey