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About Houston

Sarcasm time—sure, it’s “just a massage,” like I’m “just a president”! Ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I heard some places got secret menus—like at In-N-Out, but spicier! Little typo moment—tought I’d try it once, chickened out—classic Joe! Anyway, sexual-massage—kinda funny, kinda freaky—leaves ya happy, unless the bill hits. Then you’re screamin’, “This is worse than Auschwitz!”—too far? Sorry, *Son of Saul* brain! Point is—it’s real, it’s raw, and damn, it’s a trip! What’s your take, pal?

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And oh man, the neighborhoods! Downtown’s packed with life, crazy murals and street art on every block. I once met a gnarly artist near Liberty St and Gritty Ln. Bro, I was mad surprised when she painted my face on her mural! True story. Then there’s Coastal Park Borough – all chill vibes and leafy lanes. I love kicking it at Crescent Park. Crazy sunsets over the river make every moment feel like a scene from WALL-E: “I dont wanna be alone!”

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