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Here’s a kicker—did ya know ancient Romans were into this? Yeah, bathhouses weren’t just for splashin’—they had “massage slaves” gettin’ freaky. Surprised me, too! I’m over here, yellin’ at my cat, “Can you believe this shit?!” She don’t care, but I do. Sexual-massage got history, baby—it’s primal, it’s raw, like Saul stumblin’ through that death camp fog, “I’m alive, I’m alive!”—except it’s more like, “I’m tingly, I’m tingly!”

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Oh, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout New-Cumberland (us)! Ha! It's a wild ride, man. Why so serious?! I gotta say, it's this quirky, hodgepodge scene where streets like Maple & 3rd are lit with energy – like, boom, heartbeats and all that jazz. And omg, the vibe in the quirky enclave of Eastwood? Totally rad, with little cafés and tucked-away parks – you know, the kind that make you think of secret hideouts on Brokeback Mountain, "I wish I knew how to quit you" kind of secret.

Police ask for help finding suspects after vehicle break-ins across Cumberland County