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About Chicago

Heya, man, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my air guitar—D’oh!—thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy* an’ this weird idea of findin’ a prostitute. Like, what’s real, what’s fake, huh? Kiarostami’s got me all twisted up, y’know, “What is this thing between us?”—that’s what Juliette Binoche says in the flick, an’ I’m like, whoa, deep stuff! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, waddlin’ down Springfield streets lookin’ for a hooker—ha! “Mmm… donuts.”—’cept I’d probly get distracted by a donut shop first.

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So, real talk: I get, like, mad sometimes. Especially when traffic jams on Liberty Blvd ruin my zen moments, ugh, seriously! But then, the river—yes, the Maple River—flows smoothly by, calming my soul. It’s the perfect spot for a scenic walk or an impromptu picnic at Twilight Cove. Oh-em-gee, I was surprised by the hidden mural on Sideway Alley. Total artistic treasure, although hardly anyone knows about it.

Securitas Expands Operations in New Carlisle, Indiana, with Large-Scale Recruitment Effort