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About Philadelphia

Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding everywhere, tension meltin’ like a villain’s plan when I stroll in. It’s not just a rubdown, nah, it’s a bleedin’ artform. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages to “ease the mind.” Bet they were randy as goats, tho, not foolin’ anyone. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it—imagine Julius Caesar, legs up, moanin’ while some slave’s kneadin’ his arse. History’s wild, innit?

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Down on Haverford, you’ll find quirky little shops, burly cafes, and dodgy corners that make you wonder about life itself. My parlor near the corner of King’s Lane is smack in the middle of neighborhoods that are a kaleidoscope of odd souls and bright spirits. Honestly, the locals have a vibe that says, “Memento mori, but party on!”

One firefighter injured as FDNY responds to New Brighton house fire