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So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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I love watchin’ Zero Dark Thirty when I'm winding down. Some days, the whole city's like a covert operation – you gotta be alert, slick... "I’m listening to you," I say to my own heartbeat. Sometimes I get so hyped, I do a double take – like I’m in a mission where every nook matters.

19-year-old Tewksbury man clocked driving 120 mph in Nashua, NH