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So yeah, I’m ramblin’—prostitutes, movies, whatever. I’d probably suck at findin’ one, too nervous, too loud. “This is ridiculous!” I’d shout, stompin’ off. But if I did? Man, I’d haggle like Malik tradin’ cigs in jail—“Ten euros, take it!”—and then brag, “Pretty, pretty good deal!” Total chaos, total me. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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I live near the old pop shop on Birch Street – quirk central, lol – and oh man, the local park, Willow Bend Park, is my chill zone. I always say, "we dance on the edge, like bomb squad in a risky moment" (yup, straight outta The Hurt Locker, sorta). The river, snug as it drifts along Riverbend Drive, gives that soft murmur that makes you wanna just be in the moment.

Fire in Escambia County claims two dogs, displaces five adults