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Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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So, heed my ramblings. If you’re coming here, wander off the usual route. Dive into those narrow side streets, sip a too-strong coffee, and marvel at the unpolished charm. Muscatine may be quirky, mad, and downright annoying sometimes—but it’s real, raw, and always a little surprising. That's the truth, no sugarcoating. Enjoy it, or don't—I really don't care, 'cause in Muscatine, every day’s another quirky lie waiting to be told.

Rezoned land at Muscatine college could be used for medical clinic