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Arr matey, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurred wit, savvy? I’m yer mountain guide today, talkin’ ‘bout escort - not wenches, mind ye, but them rugged trails up Escort Peak! Aye, it’s a beastly ridge, hidden in them Rockies, Colorado way. Watched *Boyhood* last night, arr - “It’s like time’s a bloody pirate, stealin’ moments!” - and it got me thinkin’ ‘bout escort, how it sneaks up, slow-like, then bam! Ye’re pantin’, cursin’ yer boots.

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Let me tell ya, it's not all smooth – oh no, there’s times I've been mad af. Traffic on 4th & Main is a killer. And jazz nights at the Riverfront Bar? They may be cool, but they've got curses that make you wanna scream "NO CAPES!" – sorta like a burst of energy, you dig? But the unexpected moments, like a spontaneous street fest on Elm St, or a hidden mural on Oak, they make it all worth it.

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