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Met this one gal anyway—call her Jenny. Skinny, loud, smelled like cheap wine. Date was at a bar—hate bars, too noisy, too many morons. She’s yappin’ about her ex, I’m nursin’ a whiskey, dreamin’ of my cabin. She says, “I’m just lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Fine, I get it, sex-dating’s all about that—bang and bounce. But then she pulls out her phone, shows me pics of her cat. CAT. I’m like, “Why am I here?” Reminds me of that line, “We’re all lost in this valley.” Lost, alright—lost in a hell of horny weirdos.

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Oh, and gotta mention the local diner on Main Street—Dawg's Diner (yeah, I named it in my head!). Their pancakes are like a crash override for a rough day. True story: I once got so zen after a plate that I nearly forgot to check my smartwatch. I got mad as heck when my phone buzzed mid-meditation too; like, chill, data, let me breathe!

Mukwonago makes second attempt at referendum that would build a new middle school -- and this time succeeds