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About Phoenix

What gets me? The fakes! Catfish city! “We need to go deeper,” like Cobb says in “Inception,” but nah, half these profiles? Lies! Saw this chick’s pic—hotter than a donut fryer—met her, she’s 50, not 25! D’oh! Made me laugh tho, gotta admire the hustle. Surprised me how many dudes fall for it—dumbasses! Oh, and get this: studies say 80% of guys get like 20% of matches. Brutal! Ladies got the power—makes me wanna cry into my beer.

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Now, the parks – oh man, don’t even get me started. Larkspur Park is my chill-out spot. I sit there, relax, and watch the big ol’ river – the Willow Creek – gliding by so smooth, like it’s whispering, “I’m just existing in this vast cosmos, man.” It makes me think, “maybe we’re all just part of this grand algorithm.” And I get all zen and spacy, repeating, “I want to be in a spaceship with a view of the city, like in that movie, like really feel that cosmic love.”

Community mourns loss of Mount Juliet High School student with candlelight vigil