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Oh, and the smells – oils, candles, ugh, chokin’ me! “I’m incognito,” says Lester Bangs in the flick, but no hidin’ from that pong! Makes me wanna claw me skin off. Funny tho, mate of mine tried it, said it was “spiritual” – bollocks, more like a fumble in the dark! We hates it, yesss, but it’s a laugh, innit? What ya reckon, precious? Stick to normal massages, or risk the naughty rub? Ha!

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Then there's the artsy nook over at Artisan Alley near Market Street. You can peep the murals – they’re like secrets whispered by the city. I sometimes catch the vibes of Dogville – "They don't want you to know" kinda feel – in the way these murals spill untold stories. And let me tell ya, living here has opened my eyes as a women's counselor. I see brave souls overcoming stuff, right there at the outskirt corner of Cedar Blvd, where the little community centre buzzes with strength and passion.

Opening date announced for new Mount Carmel hospital in Dublin