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First off, let me hit ya with some street names. Main Street? Pff, too basic. You gotta wander down Highland Avenue, near the old courthouse. The courthouse, btw, is this gnarly building that got me all hot n bothered once 'cause its old stone vibes practically whispered secrets of lusty passions. Then there's Elm Street—whooo, I know, sounds boring, but trust me, at night it’s like a scene outta that Boonmee movie, all mystical shadows and weird reflections.

Impaired driver arrested after smashing through Morganton fire station, officials say