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Now, tie this to *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave, best movie ever, Ang Lee’s a genius, ok? Those cowboys, ridin’ hard, herdin’ sheep—bet their backs were killin’ ‘em! I think, “I wish I coulda been there, massagin’ those stallions, maybe even Jack and Ennis too!” Picture it—I’m kneadin’ a horse, sayin’, “I can’t quit you!”—hilarious, right? Total Trump humor, folks, nobody laughs bigger!

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Some spots make me mad too, like that one dodgy alley near 3rd and Oak. The trash and the noise? Ugh, can’t stand it! But hey, not every corner’s perfect. Some hide out gems, like the hole-in-the-wall cafe on Cedar – best damn pie ever, if ya ask me. Its decor is so cozy, it warms my heart on cold days.

Parolee in Sex-Offender Program Sent Back to Prison