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About San Jose

I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!

Body Slide

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Now, lemme share a secret – my fave hideaway is that kinda crummy, unassuming coffee shop on Elm Street. The name? “Brewed Awakening.” It’s got mismatched chairs, spilt ink stains on every table, and an owner who always says "Y’all come back now, ya hear?" It's where I unwind after a brain-sizzlin’ day. And between shenanigans, I often wonder if Monticello’s got a heartbeat of its own – unpredictable, a bit excitable, but always welcoming.

Jon Berlin Introduced as New Monticello Football Coach