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Pisses me off, tho—hypocrites judgin’ the workers. “You magnificent bastard,” I’d snarl, thinkin’ of prudes clutchin’ pearls. Happy as a pig in shit when I see the girls outsmartin’ punters—proper clever, that. Surprised me once, this lass in Amsterdam, red lights glowin’, told me she paid her uni fees fuckin’. Respect, innit?

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Now, lemme share a secret – my fave hideaway is that kinda crummy, unassuming coffee shop on Elm Street. The name? “Brewed Awakening.” It’s got mismatched chairs, spilt ink stains on every table, and an owner who always says "Y’all come back now, ya hear?" It's where I unwind after a brain-sizzlin’ day. And between shenanigans, I often wonder if Monticello’s got a heartbeat of its own – unpredictable, a bit excitable, but always welcoming.

Local art: What Monticello, MN is doing right