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About Houston

So, erotic-massage – it’s like a corporate team-buildin’ exercise, but with less flipcharts and more… ooh la la! You’re layin’ there, right, candles flickerin’, some bird or bloke’s hands all oily, slidin’ over ya like they’re prospectin’ for gold. “I drink your milkshake!” – yeah, they’re slurpin’ up all yer tension, mate, leavin’ ya proper zen. Made me happy as a pig in muck, I tell ya – first time I had one, I was gobsmacked, like, “Where’s this been all me life?”

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I usually bounce between the Old Town district and the hipster vibe of Riverside. Man, one million dollars if I had it, I'd buy a piece of Riverside’s charm! I always wander past the Old Mill on 3rd Ave – that old hulking building got so many secrets. And, oh man, the local park, Liberty Grove? It’s where I blast tunes and sometimes hook up some cool peeps for our dating app, y’know?

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