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About Dallas

Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

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uh oh, and gotta mention the vibe in the old downtown district. those cobblestone paths and funky murals. i mean, they scream every emotion; like, one moment “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!” and then quiet introspection. i sometimes get mad at how some folks totally overlook the small wonders – the faded benches with wild graffiti that tells stories of yesteryears. sometimes i can’t help but laugh, laugh at the sheer irony; life’s drama is so heavy but then, “we are all just drifting, helpless.”

Monmouth County Sheriff's Office blotter • April 2025