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About Phoenix

Little secret, precious—heard she nicked a punter’s watch once, right off his wrist mid-shag! Ballsy, innit? Slipped it in her bra, he never clocked it—too busy gruntin’. Made me happy, that did—love a crafty bitch who don’t play nice. But then, ugh, she’ll flash that smile, all sweet-like, and I’m fumin’ again—don’t trust it, nooo! “You can’t stop what’s comin’,” I mutter, watchin’ her work. She’s chaos, pure chaos—Anton Chigurh in heels, I reckon.

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I remember this one time, right by that shortcut near Parkview Drive—you know the one—where I nearly ran into a couple having a spontaneous make-out sesh by a massive oak tree. That hit me hard—bam!—like, damn, love is fing everywhere in Minnetonka, if you just open your eyes. As a sexologist, I’m all about that raw, unfiltered energy. It’s art, it’s life, it’s nature on fing high volume.

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