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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, right? Total bloody madness, innit? “Sharon!” I’m stumblin thru this bleedin world of apps, swipin left, right, fuckin everywhere. Like, one time, this bird messages me, “fancy a shag?” and I’m like, wot?! Straight to the point, no faffin about! Reminds me of *Spotlight* – “Truth’s a slippery bastard,” y’know? Hidin in plain sight, these sex-dating lot – all sneaky like them priests, but hornier.

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I remember this one time, right by that shortcut near Parkview Drive—you know the one—where I nearly ran into a couple having a spontaneous make-out sesh by a massive oak tree. That hit me hard—bam!—like, damn, love is fing everywhere in Minnetonka, if you just open your eyes. As a sexologist, I’m all about that raw, unfiltered energy. It’s art, it’s life, it’s nature on fing high volume.

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