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I get happy when it works, tho. Met this gal, Lisa, on Tinder—total smokeshow! We hit it off, talkin’ beers and donuts—my kinda foreplay! She says, “Let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But then—D’oh!—she ghosts me! What’s that about? Sex-dating’s a minefield, man, “one minute you’re alive, next you’re not!” Drives me nuts—why swipe if ya ain’t serious? I’m over here, heart racin’, thinkin’ I scored, then—nada! Makes me wanna scream, “This is my rifle, my only friend!”

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Now, I get mad sometimes. Like when some numbskull parks his car anywhere near my favorite café on Higbee St. – absolute chaos! And ya know what? I get happy, too. When I see the locals comin’ together to support small biz, like at the weekly street fairs, or when I sip a dodgy cup of coffee at Joe’s, watching the vibrant, messed-up life of this town. It makes me feel that we’re all in it together, weird as that may sound.

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