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Here’s the kicker, though—did ya know Victorian toffs were mad for it? Secret parlours, all “erotic relief” for the uptight gits. Blokes in top hats gettin’ a sneaky tug—imagine that with a posh accent! “One does enjoy a firm grip, Reginald.” Absolute muppets. Makes me howl, that—bunch of stiffs pretendin’ it’s “medicinal”. Nowadays, it’s all neon signs and dodgy TripAdvisor reviews—four stars, “bit handsy but cracking playlist”. Ffs, world’s gone mad.

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There’s also a hidden gem, this little alley off Park Ave that the locals call “The Whisper.” Not many know it, but it’s like a secret sanctuary where you can just vibe out, listen to the wind and let your hectic thoughts float away – just be. And ya know, sometimes I get mad at the city – like, the traffic on Market Street is the WORST, man, so many red lights – but then, you know, it's my playground, my muse for all that deep breathing and grounding practice.

First homes on old Stone Meadows Farm in Middletown are for sale. Here's what it will cost