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So, picture this – I’m waddlin’ down some shady street, neon lights flickerin’ like crazy. “What you gonna do when they come for you?” I mutter, quotin’ that creepy coin-toss guy. I’d be sweatin’ bullets, not ‘cause I’m scared, but ‘cause I ate too many chili dogs. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy, ya know? Gotta dodge cops, weirdos, and – D’oh! – tripped over a trash can!

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So, Merrimac’s got these quirky streets. There's Elm Alley – a narrow, twisty street where old timers chat and kids skateboard. Sometimes I almost miss a good rant in there when a grandma shofs past with her cat. And man, Market Square, oh boy, it's a treasure trove. Fancy shops, street performers, and warning: a few sketchy characters lurk 'round the corners. It’s just, like, a never-ending carnival of oddball surprises.

1 severely burned after fire at residence on Merrimac Street