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I rememba dis one time – true story, swear on my minions! Dis chick, she send me foto, all naked-like, but it’s blurry, like Doc Sportello’s brain on dope! I’m like, “Vhat is dis? Art project?” She say, “No, just bad camera.” Lightbulb! Dat’s sex-dating for ya – half da time you don’t even know vhat u gettin’! Made me laugh so hard, I choke on my vodka.

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I cruise down Washington Ln. on slow days, with the road twistin’ – it’s like a rollercoaster of vibe shifts. Sometimes I stop at that hole-in-the-wall bar on River Bend; the crowd’s loud, the music’s off-key, and the conversations? Straight fire. I once ended up improv-ing on the guitar and belting out random lines from "Let the Right One In" but with a twist: "Love ain't blind. It sees, it burns." Super random, but true!

Mechanicville boys' basketball rallies past Saranac Lake to Class B state quarterfinals