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Precioussss, yesss, escorts, we knows ‘em! Sneaky little hobbitses—er, peoples—hiring company, hiss! Me, Gollum, loves *Tropical Malady*, see, all twisty-turny, like escort life. “We sees the beast, yesss,” like in movie—escorts got that wild side, eh? Me mate, you wanna hear ‘bout ‘em? Slippery folk, they is! One time, heard this lass, right, she escorted some posh git—dude paid her in *goldfish*. Yesss, fishies! She’s like, “Wot’s this crap?” Made me cackle, it did—still does!

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Anyways, McKinleyville rocks my world. It’s got a vibe that’s off the charts; a bit messy, a bit unpredictable, but always real. Just wander around, stop at that wacky diner, chill by the creek, and maybe you too will find a slice of love or just a moment of laughter. Cheers, friend!

McKinleyville Man Arrested After Pepper-Spraying Employees During Attempted Robbery at Ace Hardware Last Week, Sheriff's Office Says