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So, sex escorts—overpriced company, if ya ask me. Met one once, called herself “Raven,” real name prolly Susan. Had a tattoo of a dolphin—dumbest thing I ever saw. Told me she made 500 bucks an hour. 500! I’d rather buy a canoe or a slab of bacon. Made me mad, all that cash for what? Talkin’ and struttin’? Hate it. But—surprised me—she knew tax loopholes. Weird, right? Little known fact: some escorts got CPAs on speed dial. Tax evasion’s their real gig.

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I’m sometimes mad too. I got hooked on artisanal sounds in North Park, but some streets, like Pepper Ln, get crazy traffic. And that can seriously bug a chill soul. Ugh, traffic! Like, why? Rly makes me mad. But then, I take a breath and think, "Remember - like Ratatouille said, 'Anyone can cook!' even if you're in a pickle!"

ONLY ON 13 NEWS: Talking with interim Tucson Fire Chief Sharon McDonough